Part 29. Habit Change…
Did you go read it? How about now? Don’t like reading self help books? Try the audio version…that’s what I did. In my business driving was a very large part of my day and when I got home there was ten thousand other things to do so why not use that time to continue to trying to figure my shit out, and maybe throw in some fun smutty ones in here and there too…
As I made my way through Atomic Habits, I felt a sense of hope that maybe I could have successful habit change. They say do something for 30 days it becomes habit, that has never been my reality. I journaled religiously for 8 months, missed a day during a low point and then didn’t journal again…at least not consistently. But the way it was described in Atomic Habits gave me hope that I can build it into my life in slow progressive steps so it just becomes part of my life not a chore on the “I should be doing that list”.
Want to start a gym routine, start by putting your workout cloths and shoes on around the house. Then commit to going to the gym for 5 mins and leaving. Slowly build on that habit to reach you reach all of you mini goals and create a habit you love. I also learned about habit pairing where maybe you save your favorite show for when you are walking on a walking pad. Pairing something you love with something you are learning to love.
Then it hit me…omfg its SHAPING. Shaping in dog training is taking a goal behavior and breaking it up into tiny achievable pieces to get your dog to the goal behavior. This book just translated shaping into human behavior change.
Shit…I SUCKED at shaping. By far my least utilized tool in my training toolbox. In the training world I am considered a “lumper”, such a sexy term ain’t it! What that means is I struggle to break the behavior down small enough, the result: messy behavior with lots of confusion for the dog and often frustration for both of us. Its why I NEVER shape, unless I have to. Now I was supposed to shape myself? Fuck.
Realizing that immediately overwhelmed me, my hope turned sour. I had a history of failing at shaping and failing myself, I felt nearly defeated before I got started.
I knew I couldn’t tackle something like the weight gain, or fixing all the mental health stuff. I got quiet and reflected on my favorite stoop. I looked up and saw the full moon and knew that's where I needed to start. A once a month routine that I could look forward to. I was going to start doing my own full moon ceremony. The place I experienced my first one had closed the owner moving away, so I was going to do it myself. I am most comfortable that way anyway.
I started my routine, I made it an evening of self care and focus on releasing what no longer served me. I wrote out all the things I could think of releasing in that cycle. Set the paper on fire with some bay leafs and sat with it. That’s when they started happening again. Except they were different, more intense, more volatile, and I noticed my thoughts and they were really painful.
